Inside The Grave
by Discordia19
Summary: A One Shot look at what happened to Hidan after he was defeated. Rated M for language, because hey, it's Hidan. I own nothing. The first piece of Fan Fiction I ever wrote, thought it appropriate for my first upload. Be Kind, Rewin- Er, review.


**Day 0-1**

Though he was imprisoned underground, Hidan wasn't worried. He assumed Kakuzu would quickly deal with the group of children that had been sent against them, and would then come to dig him out, patch him up, and then he'd be back to slaughtering countless innocents in the name of his god, Jashin. _After all_, Hidan had thought, _it's not like a bunch of fucking kids can beat _both_ members of the Zombi Combi, right?_ The Leader may have frowned on Kisame's nickname for the "immortal" duo, but Hidan secretly loved it. Hidan loved a great deal about life, which may have surprised the few people who knew him well, and thought he cared only about being vulgar, disrespectful, and murdering. After Jashin's scientists and Chakra specialists had made him immortal (for all intents and purposes), Hidan had taught himself to love the little things, since any large joys would probably grow to be tedious.

His eyes had burst in the collapse, though he doubted he could have seen anything regardless. More importantly, his head had settled in such a way that he had a bit of a bubble of air. He could open his mouth without having soil fall into it, and there was enough air falling through the loose rubble for him to breathe normally. _I don't actually know how necessary breathing is for me._ Hidan suddenly realized with a bitter chuckle. What a way to test the experiments of Lord Jashin!

_Any minute now, there'll be light flooding in, and I'll be able to kill that shadow-manipulating bastard with my Curse. Then I'll find the rest of his clan that he was so proud of, and kill them too. Then I'll find anybody he loved, and tear their fucking throats out with my teeth like I promised I'd do to him. Maybe that Sensei he thought he was avenging had a wife…_or a child! Hidan was practically moaning with excitement at the idea. It didn't occur to him that he'd be unable to see it if light flooded in, so happy was he with the vision. Then the minutes turned to hours, and Hidan would still not lose hope. Surely Jashin wouldn't forsake His most prized experiment? Then Hidan could tell at least a day had passed, and his optimism turned to rage. That fucker Kakuzu had abandoned him to his fate! The greedy prick probably captured the Nine-Tails, poked around for a few seconds, and then gone on his way!Hidan silently added his name to the list of future victims. He knew that he only had one chance now, and that was Zetsu. Hidan had talked to the bizarre looking man often about his duties to Akatsuki, since they appealed to Hidan's own interests. He knew the plant man would come to devour his "corpse" soon enough, and his Mayfly technique would allow him to find Hidan, even under the rubble. Then he'd be brought back in pieces to an Akatsuki hideout, Kakuzu would patch him up, and then he'd tear the traitorous bastard's head off, or curse him five times just for a laugh. That would perk his mood right up.

**Day 4**

Hidan chuckled to himself as he crunched up the bitter insects that crawled through the dark over his face. Detached though his head was, whatever kept him alive would allow the nutrients to keep his body going until rescue. Kakuzu had obviously been slow in returning, so the Leader wasn't aware of his predicament yet. _Fucking Kakuzu, he's probably getting another bounty while he's out. Not like he has to turn in the fucking Kyuubi or anything, right?!_ Hidan thought, cursing his partner's greed again. They had never been a sensible match up. The reasoning was vaguely sound; "give Kakuzu a partner he can't murder when he's pissed off." Hidan would have assigned the emotionless Itachi or Sasori to Kakuzu, since neither would piss off the ancient madman. Hidan would have been better suited with Deidara or Kisame. Their personalities were far more complimentary. Kisame was prone to dismemberment, an interest he shared with Hidan, while Deidara reveled in destruction, another of Hidan's hobbies. _Another sign I'd have made a better leader than our dumbass boss._ Hidan thought angrily, tensing as he heard what sounded like digging. _It's about fucking time!_ He almost shouted, giddy with excitement. _Rescue! Revenge! BLOOD!_ He was now laughing aloud, letting dirt fall into his mouth and not caring. He felt a claw brush his face and immediately felt his elation turn to rage as the mole tried to push his head out of the way.

He tore it limb from limb with his teeth, cracking them from slamming them together hard enough to sever a paw.

**Day 23**

It had been a month since he'd been defeated. It had to have been a month, maybe close to two. Hidan didn't know, or care. All he knew was that animals and insects had stopped frequenting his grave since he'd killed the worms and insects that came to feed off the mole corpse. At least, they stayed away from the biting presence near the top of the pile of meat. He was aware that the rest of his body had probably been devoured. He didn't care about that either. His promise to the lazy smoker still stood. _Tear your fucking throat out with my fucking teeth._ He thought to himself for the thirtieth time that day. It was slowly becoming a mantra to him. Hidan had loved mantras, rituals, all the facets of religious worship. The fact that that worship included wholesale slaughter probably helped, but he was trying to cope however he could.

_They beat Kakuzu. That's the only explanation. Hell, if that bastard could beat me, of course he could beat Kakuzu! I should have known that would happen._ Hidan thought in a sudden moment of inspiration. _Told you your blasphemy and greed would come to bite you in the ass you fucking bastard!_ He thought, laughing at Kakuzu's punishment. The thought that rescue was now likely impossible suddenly occurred to him. They often went months without reporting in, so they wouldn't even be missed for at least two more, unless another bijuu was caught. _Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit! The Nine-Tails was one of the only ones left! I have to wait for them to capture the Eight Tails before they'll come looking for me! How long has it been? Three months. At least three months._ Hidan thought, convinced they'd look for him soon.

**Day 30**

…_Tear your fucking throat out with my fucking teeth. Tear your fucking throat out with my fucking teeth. Tear your fucking throat out with my fucking teeth…_

**Day 40**

Hidan was at his wits end. The immortality Jutsu was still keeping him alive, though he wasn't sure how long he had left. He knew it required murder to keep working, and had been hoping for days now that he would just cease to live, even praying to Lord Jashin, not for revenge, but for death. _Fucking dumbass, _that's _why you're being cursed to live like this. Turning down glorious slaughter just for peace of mind is exactly what those faggots back home did. That's why you killed them all, remember? That's why you joined Jashin's cult in the first place, because you felt you were being cheated out of your calling as a shinobi, a skilled murderer. That's what got you into this mess in the first place!_ Hidan thought to himself. A month underground makes talking to yourself seem not only normal, but the _only _definition for sanity. It would be insane not to contradict himself midsentence! Strangely, Hidan could find himself sympathizing with the simpletons from his village that had sought to live in peace. In fact, he was beginning to regret killing them all. A thought occurred to him. He didn't know how many people he'd killed since then. _Not like I have any better way to pass the fucking time…_He thought, as he started his list.

**Day 48**

…_Then there was that group of dumbass Kumo-nins that tried to stop us from following the Two-Tails, then there were those bandits in the woods, then there was the Two-Tails herself…_

**Day 50**

…_Then there were those monks, and then there was that kid's sensei, and then there was one of Kakuzu's hearts._ Hidan finished, chuckling. Half of his face had rotted away, since it lacked nutrients to keep it fresh. He didn't care. Halfway through listing his butcher's list, he'd realized he'd forgotten what he'd looked like before being buried. Not only that, but he couldn't remember who Kakuzu or "that kid" were anymore. He could vaguely remember being angry at the kid, but not why. _Or did I make him a promise? Shit, I hope it wasn't important. Poor bastards been waiting for years now._ He could remember he and Kakuzu were partners, but what business they had or if they were friends was beyond him. He had just gone through his life's work mechanically, the memories being harder to recall the closer he got to the present. In the back of what remained of his mind, he knew that was a good sign. He still had enough sense to know that he would soon, finally, be dead. He couldn't be happier.

**Day 10978**

Shikamaru Nara was walking through his clan's forest with his five-year old grandson when he stopped suddenly, looking around. The blonde boy looked up at his grandfather with a bored expression. "Why'd you stop, grandpa?" He asked in a disinterested voice.

Shikamaru chuckled. "I haven't been to this part of the forest in over twenty years. I'd forgotten about it, to be totally honest with you. I won a great victory here once, a long time ago." He paused before looking up at the clouds. "I can tell you the story, if you don't think it's too troublesome to sit and listen. In fact, you'll be the first one I've felt the need to tell it to. Your father doesn't even know this story, and he should, because he's in it."

That got the boys attention, but he was loath to show it. The blonde boy sat down lazily, unaware that ten feet below was a bleached skull atop a pile of bones and a faded black robe with red clouds on it. "If you don't mind if I fall asleep in the middle, then I can bear it while you yammer on." He said with a yawn.

Shikamaru pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Shikamaru's godson had gotten him started again, to the eternal disappointment of the man's mother, to say nothing of Shikamaru's "troublesome" wife. Shikamaru was still mildly frightened by the sister of the Kazekage, even though they'd been married for twenty five years, but he figured smoking a cigarette every now and then wasn't too troublesome for her to deal with. His grandson was laying back, looking up at the clouds and chewing on a piece of grass lazily. He was used to smoke. His father smoked, his maternal grandfather smoked, and Grandma Kurenai told him that his _paternal _grandfather, her "husband", had smoked too. The boy would have worried about lung problems being hereditary, but that was too troublesome. Shikamaru exhaled the first puff and cleared his throat. "It started with a curse…"


End file.
